A Fresh Start, A Fresh Blog.

Its been a long time since I have felt confident enough to say I want to write about my life in a blog. I'm finally to the point where I feel absolutely grounded and confident. I don't feel ashamed of who I am or the past that I have. I think that's the blessing of growing up and realizing that when it really comes down to it what other people think doesn't matter. I cant believe it took me 22 1/2 years to figure out. I'm human and Ive made choices some not the best and some that turned out to be the best thing I could have ever done. I love where I am at even though its probably one if the toughest spots I've ever been. I have been so humbled and blessed in the last month that it makes wonder what I wasted all my time doing. I have felt the atonement and love from the Lord on a real level. Some of you may agree with my choices and some of you may shake your head. Either way I'm here to do one thing. Document the blessings in my life and show that I know through hard work true dedication and prayer miracles happen. So now your wondering whats changed? Why are you so awesome now? Well I made a decision that took a lot of strength, blind faith and true dedication. I chose to serve the Lord and be a worthy daughter of a Heavenly King no matter what I had to do. I will say It was not easy. I had to use complete faith and had no clue what would happen. (I'm still not 100% sure) but I feel confident in saying the Lord hasn't left me alone. Leaving that night was the hardest thing I have ever done. But since I have picked myself up dusted off the dirt and put myself to work I have seen serious blessing poured onto Laiyla and I. I have had my car fixed by ward members anonymously, I have felt the spirit and been guided into knowing how to help my child and been protected when a situation could have been bad. I have been blessed with 2 jobs in one week and I am actively serving in my ward with a calling (That Ill announce Sunday Its pretty freaking awesome.) I feel at peace. People have said they think I'm heartless and cold because I'm not a hot mess who cant keep it together. When really I think its pretty great that I am at a point where I constantly feel the spirit and feel peace and love on my hardest days. I do have them but I can control them, That's the difference. I'm finally me. I'm not shy in telling you what makes me happy or what gets me upset. Ill tell you though that with out the gospel of Jesus Christ, the true restored church on this earth, I would not be the "Me" that I now am.